How to go to the toilet –SERIOUSLY!

One of the difficult things to do on an expedition is to go to the toilet.  It could save you from frostbite!  Let me explain:

1) In base camps it is not so much and issue but you can save yourself from discomfort by building your thigh muscles.  If you do a full squat then you reduce blood flow to your feet.  If you hold this position for too long at cold/high altitude then frostbite to your toes can set in…this is what happened to me on Manaslu!  I felt my right toe go numb while doing a poo on summit night.  Even if you ‘bounce’ you still end up getting some serious leg burn as you have to hold that skiers position for a while.

Tip –Don’t mess around and get done with the business as quickly as possible.

Tip –Light bouncing can relieve pressure but don’t lose your aim.

Tip –At high altitude use real toilet paper as wet wipes have a tendency to freeze, and are cold.

2) Pee bottles are essential.  You never want to go out of the tent in wild weather just to do a pee, particularly if you tent site is precariously pitched.  Some people also use pee bottles as hot water bottles, but if you have no need for the extra warmth, then make sure you pour the bottle out to the outside of the tent instead of leaving it to be disposed of the next morning…as the pee will freeze in the bottle.

3) To do a poo is usually not too much of a hassle if your site is not in a dangerous spot, but if you are wearing a harness, then the struggle begins (where pants have no evacuation sippers).  The most important rule is to never compromise your safety equipment.  You may have to loosen your harness so that you can slip down your pants.  Make sure you don’t loosen too much of your harness!  There is very little modesty when it comes to things like this but if you need to evacuate…so it shall be.

4) I’ve heard of people (not me) taking a poo in the tent vestibule, onto a snow covered shovel, when the outside weather is very bad.  Once finished, they hurl the waste in a pre-determined direction.  The shovel is relatively clean (snow covered) and there is no need to leave the tent.  In such a situation you would want to be ‘very close’ to your tent buddy.

5) I’ve also heard about people digging deep into one end of the tent vestibule for number 2s, which they cover up with snow once finished.  Never tried this before but the previous option 4 sounds better.

6) Common courtesy –if you farts are going to stink then vent the tent.  My experience in Broad Peak with the Icelandic was he did not do this…was he seriously that inconsiderate? 

I believe that most issues come about from the act of pooing rather than peeing.  Depending on your environment the consequences of taking too long (too leisurely) can have some physical impacts.  Learn to do your business quickly and efficiently.  Learn how to manipulate your harness and clothing ‘safely’ to do your number 2s on a rope.

Not many people talk about these things but I am putting it out there so that you have a starting point in how to deal with toilet adventures on the mountain.  There may be heaps of other options so research for yourself.  Pants with front-back zippers or rainbow seats make things a lot easier.

Oh, if you think you have to ‘go’, then ‘go’ early.  You do not want to be rushing things getting prepared.  Take the necessary time to get ready so that you don’t make a mess or put yourself at risk.